40 Weeks and 2 days

So I am two days past my due date and I know I have been saying this for weeks, but this baby can come any day.  She can, and I am hoping she will.  I am huge and it is time!

At my appointment last Wednesday 2/19,  I was measuring 2 cm and was 50% effaced and soft, which is an improvement of .5 cm from my appointment on 2/13, which is good. Its improvement. My next appointment will be on Thursday 2/27. I am hoping I am done being pregnant at that point though.
At my appt on 2/13, the nurse and doctor told me that they can start inducing at 39 weeks so I began thinking about the possibility of being induced.  Being 3 days away from 39 weeks at the time made it much more real.  When I went back at 39.3 weeks they informed me that they won't induce anyone  until 41 weeks.  Now, I am not sure who the heck is running that place but I am really confused as to why I received different facts.  You don't mess with a pregnant lady like that.  I go to a doctor group and don't see the same doctors or nurses every visit, which I hate, I don't suggest it, but out here in PA it really is practically your only choice.  So after getting my hopes up that whether baby girl comes on her own, or I choose to be induced, I won't have to wait much longer.  HA. Now that I will have to wait for the monday after I hit 41 weeks, I won't be able to have baby until March 3 and my due date was February 23. Frustrating. I have been cramping and contracting a lot this week though. I was actually cramping and contracting a lot on 2/23 and all night long and into the morning of 2/24, but it never progressed past that and eventually went away and  I feel stuff here and there intermittently but nothing time-able or unmanageable.  Every time they start up I get my hopes up and they never amount to anything.  

I have been feeling conflicted lately.  I find myself being frustrated with things I can't control.  On one hand, I really want this big baby out so I can return to feeling more like myself and get back to being me, however I feel guilty saying that.  I am trying my best not to be negative and wish this time away. I feel bad because these are the last moments I have to be so close with this baby girl.  We have been pals and constant companions for 10 months now.  It's hard to think its not going to be that way any more.  I know she will still be here- but I won't wake up to her kicks and somersaults, I will wake up to her cries and constant demands.  I really have enjoyed being pregnant and as ready as I am for her to join our family, I can't help but feel a sense of mourning.  I know its only going to get better, but part of me feels sad to give up this part of the process.

It has also been interesting to watch many of my friends who share the same due date as me go days, a week or 3 weeks before I do.  So so happy for them. But now that my due date has come and gone- it makes me sad too.  

Last night I became an aunt again.  Joseph and Aubrey Apple had their baby boy, Jayden. He's adorable. We are so happy for them and are grateful everything went smoothly.  He weighed in at 6lbs 14 ounces and is 20.5 inches long. I'm hoping now that baby girl's cousin is here she will decide it's time to join too.

One of the saddest things about my current state is my feet and ankles that just keep getting worse/more swollen. And no, my doctors don't care.  Greg was rubbing my feet the other night and he said it made him sad because his finger prints were making indentations into my feet and ankles. 

After wearing socks and shoes

My achilles tendon. 

This picture may or may not make them look worse than they are.

 I read this poem yesterday and it made me feel better about where I am at.  Still feeling so conflicted and guilty. I want her out but I love her being in there. 

My baby’s not a library book,
so baby isn’t overdue.
My baby don’t take long to cook,
coz it’s a baby not veggie stew.

My baby’s not an elephant,

and I’m not fit to burst.
The time and date aren’t relevant,
we’re blessed with days, not cursed.

My baby can’t read dates as yet,
because she's very new.
So there’s no cause to fuss and fret,
if baby don’t come on cue.

So stop your worry,
stop your asking,
there’s no hurry
we’re relaxing 

In this golden pregnant time,
this pause, which is just hers and mine

Week 40 Day 1

How far along? 40 Weeks 2 days

Total weight gain? 40 lbs

Maternity clothes? I am down to my last few maternity shirts.

Stretch marks? No, thank goodness.

Best moment this week: Finally feeling contractions and cramping. Which hurts, but it feels like progress.  

Miss anything? Yes. A lot. 

Movement: She likes to move but I can tell that she is pretty cramped.

Food cravings: None.

Anything making you queasy or sick: No

Gender: Baby Girl

Symptoms: Swollen ankles and feet. arthritis in my fingers. Cramping and contractions.

Belly Button in or out? OUT!

Looking forward to: Baby girl getting here. Holding her. Greg finally getting to meet her. I feel as though I know her already. 

38 Weeks

So baby girl could come at any time.  This waiting game business is exhausting ALREADY.  Every little cramp or hard kick makes me stop and think for a split second.. is this it? Am I going into labor?? And boy is it tiring.

This last week my mom informed me that I couldn't go into labor and have baby girl because she and my dad were going on an impromptu trip to Costa Rica. Um okay, great, thanks for the invite. But now that they are flying back to the states and the fact that she will be able to get to me a lot faster now has me thinking okay... anytime now.  I just want to hold her and look at her so badly.  And of course it consumes my thoughts 24/7.

I have been feeling a need to really get things ready.  Not just like the crib and fun things but as in any minute I might not have the physical ability to clean up and have the house presentable like I would want to.  I have been cleaning all the bathrooms and finishing all laundry just to make sure we are caught up and to hopefully make a smoother transition.

This last week I bought some props for baby girls newborn pictures and I am really excited to take them.

This week I also got some mascara in the mail from my sister as an early birthday present. It's pretty rad stuff. Most of you have probably been invited to my online party for it, if not let me know, and I will add you! It's called 3-D Fiber Mascara and it builds off of your natural lashes using transplanting gel and fibers to make your own lashes appear longer and thicker. 

It is pretty neat.  The LEFT side has the 3-D mascara and the RIGHT side is just mascara.  At first I had a hard time applying it but by the second and third day I figured out my system and really enjoy using it now.  

Anyways, I think thats all the updates I have.  Nothing really going on.  At my last appointment I hadn't  progressed at all from the week before so that is sort of boring. It is literally just a waiting game.

Week 38

 How far along? 38 Weeks

Total weight gain? 35 lbs.

Maternity clothes? A must.

Best moment this week: Hitting the 38 week mark and finding fun props for her newborn pictures. 

Miss anything? A full nights sleep.  I wake up 3 times a night now, at least. And I don't see a full nights sleep anywhere in my future for a LONG time. 

Movement: She's always moving.  Lately I have been seeing feet or fists poking so far out of my sides its comical.  Greg always goes nuts.

Food cravings: Just food in general. I am still so hungry and my Pregnancy Apps made it sound like that should be tapering off and my weight gain should be tapering BUT it's not. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope

Gender: Baby girl!

Symptoms: So I still have swollen feet and ankles and fingers and even lower legs however it is way better the last couple of days then it was before. I have been trying harder to stay off my feet and reduce sodium and it is helping. They don't look nearly as sad as they used to.  My fingers still have some aching and arthritis going on but its not terrible. I think I have gotten use to it. 

Belly Button in or out? Out.

Looking forward to: I am looking forward to getting into shape. For those of you who know me... like.. really know me... your jaw is dropping as I say that, but I really look forward to tightening up and doing some damage control after baby is out.  AND Baby girl getting here.  My everyday life is just me waiting around for her to come. I want to hold her, see the color of her hair.. or if she even has hair for that matter, and just give her kisses.  Anytime, baby girl. Mama's waiting. 

37 Weeks

Reaching 37 weeks is a pretty cool feeling.  Knowing that your baby could come at any time and she will be most likely fully developed and ready to survive outside my body on her own. Awesome.
However, the transition between milestone week 36 and 37 was terrible. Not Awesome.  When I was 36 weeks I was telling everyone that things had been going well and if they continued that way I wouldn't mind keeping baby girl in the oven a while longer, after all, my belly is the best baby sitter she will ever have. However, only days after making that comment I have felt my body take a turn for miserable.  I swear it was just days ago that I was sleeping through the night without any bathroom breaks. I did that like three days in a row. And then last night I had to get up like 3-4 times, had terrible heart burn, all the while dealing with early stages of getting a cold and my throat and the back on my nasal cavity just burns and aches. Arghhghhgh. Lovely.

Last Thursday I had a doctors appt. and everything continues to look good.  I measured 36 cm and was dilated . 5 cm.  Not too shabby. However it was my first time getting my cervix checked which isn't the worst thing in the world but Yowzas! No one prepped me for that!

On Saturday I noticed my feet were quite swollen again (they have been pretty bad this whole last week) and I also noticed I was starting to get a really bad headache. So I decided to check my blood pressure with Greg's help and it was way higher than normal so just to be cautious I called my doctor just to let them know. I usually wouldn't have called over something like that, buuut lately whenever I go to my appt. and they see my feet, they always ask if I have any headaches and want to check my blood pressure.  So I was a little bit worried and called.  They had me go into the hospital which turned out to be quite the ordeal. I had a gown, bracelet and everything and then everything turned out to be fine so I felt a little bit silly, but better safe than sorry I suppose. When I was at the hospital the nurse was all up on my belly and touching baby and trying to find the right spot for my monitor and then she said " Oh my goodness, you are all baby, and let me tell you, that is one tall baby." She went on to explain that she could feel baby girls back on one far side, her bum, and then her legs clear on the other side and well, I guess according to her, this is gonna be a tall baby. We will see. I was 21 inches and thats not short.  I guess if that story proves anything it proves how desperate I am to find out any information about baby girl.  I am dying for even an estimate of her size. Pathetic. haha. While at the hospital they checked my cervix again.. :/ .... and in two days I went from a . 5cm to 1cm.  Which doesn't mean anything but it is fun to know that my body is starting to think about labor.  I can't believe baby girl's arrival is getting so close.

This week baby girls crib arrived and on Saturday we set it up.  After a lot of debate and thinking, I am very happy with the crib we chose. I waited until I got my Target 10% off card for registry completion and then used my Target red card for another 5% off and free shipping. Boo ya.  And then there was a deal that if you spend $250 on nursery furniture you get $50 off. So I made sure I got that discount too. Yay. I also decided against a bumper. I figure if I get anything I will do a mesh lining around crib.

Since I was getting a decent discount already, I decided to go ahead and buy this little playmat thing that I knew I would want eventually. A couple of my friends have this for their babies and I think it's so cute. 

And then last and also least of the updates- I was talking to my mom the other day about late night diaper changers for baby girl. I always figured I would just use a blanket and change her on my bed, but then I realized that this Table/Desk in our room was the perfect size.  I never wanted to spend the money on a changing table and I am glad I didn't because I basically already had one.  I just went to kid to kid and bought the pad and the little green minky cover was an extra from my friend Sarah. It fit perfectly. All for just 9.99. Sweet. Now late night changes hopefully won't be as challenging.

Now for the bump! (sorry but I HATE smiling now days, this is what you get)

Week 36 Day 5

Week 37 Day 2
In this picture I cant believe I am even pretending to smile. I feel terrible!

How far along? 37 Weeks

Total weight gain? 32 lbs

Maternity clothes? I am down to my last few maternity shirts. My choices are few!

Best moment this week: Hearing that I have started dilating. It makes it all seem more real. 

Miss anything? I miss feeling like me.  I feel like I am in someone else's body.  I miss seeing my own feet instead of these swollen cankle feet. I also miss having energy.  I have really hit bottom this week, especially today. 

Movement: She's a mover!

Food cravings: Still love my pop however I also really wanted some good buffalo wings this week. Where is buffalo wild wings when you need them!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope

Gender: Baby girl!

Symptoms: Swollen fingers, ANKLES AND FEET especially, my flats are getting small. ha. Arthritis in my fingers and ankles. Swelling in my face still.  My back and hips hurt when I sit in my chair too long. Not sure if I could still do a day of shopping like I said last week. 

Belly Button in or out? OUT!

Looking forward to: Baby girl getting here. Everything is ready- I feel like now we are just waiting on her. I guess my mom can't come out east for another week so baby girl can wait a while longer but my life is kind of on the boring side now.